My Love, I know how frustrating it is to be triggeredand down again after weeks or months of feeling good and strong. You are angry.You are tired of fighting.I know this, Love. But hold on, dear.Listen to the waves and energyof your own growth, your path.The pattern. It’s coming … The good is circling back aroundto find you once again. And catch you by surprisewith its light reignited. Art by Dianne Hammer Follow me atInstagram: diannehammer_writerFacebook: DianneHammerWriter
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This photo was about four weeks AFTER in 2018. My husband helped pace me to a third-place, age-group finish. I was running on pure anger and adrenaline and determination and yelled, “Fuck Him!!!!!” inside my head when I crossed the finish line a second after this photo was taken. Or maybe I yelled it out loud. I don’t remember. But it was very satisfying and I’m so appreciative of John for helping me achieve that. I felt incredibly empowered, and I still have that race result on my fridge five years later. It was the first super-positive experience I had
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QUIETLYOur hearts wait While we grieveAll that was unfair While we retrieveAll we hid away While we FEELAll we made numb Art and Words: Dianne Hammer
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Motivated for change and growth and possibility.Choosing THIS voice. Forging THIS path. Making. Crafting. Becoming. I am both fire and water. Storm AND peace. Ultimately. Hopefully. Mindfully.Seeking better ways to be. For me. For others. I hold up a mirror, and I am not alone. Not alone. Other-ing. Connecting. Finding. We ARE. Not alone. Just. Getting. Started.I sing with cracked voice.Whisper with clear intention.I SHOUT!
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My husband and I have a vacation rental in the mountains, which I’ve written about in my House Therapy posts. In these, I parallel what it was like and what it meant to me – especially retrospectively – to embark on an all-encompassing creative endeavor during the exact same time I was going through the exhausting justice process. (By the way, I still plan on completing my House Therapy project, possibly as a book. Meanwhile, you can find chapters one through six starting here:https://diannehammer.com/2020/11/house-therapy-chapter-one-2/ ) John and I hope someday we won’t have to rent out our mountain house, but
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October 7, 2022 Happy Birthday, Dad! You would be 94 years old. That’s so astounding to me! You have never gone, fully. I understand how that works now. I carry you in my heart and in my drive and in my personality. And in my biology, my aging – I see myself in you more and more. In Mom, too. I’ve been thinking about you a lot the last couple of weeks, as I go through an initial batch of your videos and slides that I’ve finally started to get digitized. It’s interesting to see through your eyes what you
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Content Warning: Assault Triggers It takes a long time for trauma survivors to process through the original event or events – as well as deal with what happened after, during the fallout period. I still discover at least monthly how I feel about “another something” related to the sexual assault I experienced in 2018. Healing is peeling back the layers of the trauma gradually and carefully, as we are able and ready, to deal with the next thing underneath. We can’t deal with the buried layers – or maybe even know those layers exist — until we’ve processed what’s above.
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I am filled with light and hopefulnessPatterns and colors of natureHealing energy, vibratingThe joy of safety mixed with possibility I am open to connectionAccept the love offerings of my peopleWithout fear or mistrust I am magic and creativitySee beauty and am beautiful I know the strength of my own beingI am peace. Art Credit: Dianne Hammer
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