Originally published January 9, 2024 on my Substack publication: https://amiddleagedsurvivor.substack.com/ This past year my healing took a big leap forward, and I give credit in part to music for that. Both because of something I learned in a Polyvagal/Nervous System course I took last year around this time and because I’ve recently realized how important music is to me after too many decades of letting its steady presence seep out of my life. Always curious about different modalities that could complement my healing journey, last winter I signed up for an eight-week class by Australian nervous-system-healing guru Jessica Maguire. I
Continue Reading HEREMy Love, I know how frustrating it is to be triggeredand down again after weeks or months of feeling good and strong. You are angry.You are tired of fighting.I know this, Love. But hold on, dear.Listen to the waves and energyof your own growth, your path.The pattern. It’s coming … The good is circling back aroundto find you once again. And catch you by surprisewith its light reignited. Art by Dianne Hammer Please subscribe to this blog to continue following my healing journey. You can also follow me on social media at: Instagram: @amiddleagedsurvivorFacebook: @amiddledagedsurvivorSubstack: @amiddleagedsurvivor Wishing you love, peace and sparks
Continue Reading HEREThis photo was about four weeks AFTER in 2018. My husband helped pace me to a third-place, age-group finish. I was running on pure anger and adrenaline and determination and yelled, “Fuck Him!!!!!” inside my head when I crossed the finish line a second after this photo was taken. Or maybe I yelled it out loud. I don’t remember. But it was very satisfying and I’m so appreciative of John for helping me achieve that. I felt incredibly empowered, and I still have that race result on my fridge five years later. It was the first super-positive experience I had
Continue Reading HEREQUIETLYOur hearts wait While we grieveAll that was unfair While we retrieveAll we hid away While we FEELAll we made numb Art and Words: Dianne Hammer Please subscribe to this blog to continue following my healing journey. You can also follow me on social media at: Instagram: @amiddleagedsurvivorFacebook: @amiddledagedsurvivorSubstack: @amiddleagedsurvivor Wishing you love, peace and sparks of joy wherever you are on your healing journey. It is my wish with all that I do and all that I write about for you to know that you are not alone. Warmly, Dianne
Continue Reading HEREMotivated for change and growth and possibility.Choosing THIS voice. Forging THIS path. Making. Crafting. Becoming. I am both fire and water. Storm AND peace. Ultimately. Hopefully. Mindfully.Seeking better ways to be. For me. For others. I hold up a mirror, and I am not alone. Not alone. Other-ing. Connecting. Finding. We ARE. Not alone. Just. Getting. Started.I sing with cracked voice.Whisper with clear intention.I SHOUT! Please subscribe to this blog to continue following my healing journey. You can also follow me on social media at: Instagram: @amiddleagedsurvivorFacebook: @amiddledagedsurvivorSubstack: @amiddleagedsurvivor Wishing you love, peace and sparks of joy wherever you are on your
Continue Reading HEREMy husband and I have a vacation rental in the mountains, which I’ve written about in my House Therapy posts. In these, I parallel what it was like and what it meant to me – especially retrospectively – to embark on an all-encompassing creative endeavor during the exact same time I was going through the exhausting justice process. (By the way, I still plan on completing my House Therapy project, possibly as a book. Meanwhile, you can find chapters one through six starting here:https://diannehammer.com/2020/11/house-therapy-chapter-one-2/ ) John and I hope someday we won’t have to rent out our mountain house, but
Continue Reading HEREOctober 7, 2022 Happy Birthday, Dad! You would be 94 years old. That’s so astounding to me! You have never gone, fully. I understand how that works now. I carry you in my heart and in my drive and in my personality. And in my biology, my aging – I see myself in you more and more. In Mom, too. I’ve been thinking about you a lot the last couple of weeks, as I go through an initial batch of your videos and slides that I’ve finally started to get digitized. It’s interesting to see through your eyes what you
Continue Reading HEREContent Warning: Assault Triggers It takes a long time for trauma survivors to process through the original event or events – as well as deal with what happened after, during the fallout period. I still discover at least monthly how I feel about “another something” related to the sexual assault I experienced in 2018. Healing is peeling back the layers of the trauma gradually and carefully, as we are able and ready, to deal with the next thing underneath. We can’t deal with the buried layers – or maybe even know those layers exist — until we’ve processed what’s above.
Continue Reading HEREI am filled with light and hopefulnessPatterns and colors of natureHealing energy, vibratingThe joy of safety mixed with possibility I am open to connectionAccept the love offerings of my peopleWithout fear or mistrust I am magic and creativitySee beauty and am beautiful I know the strength of my own beingI am peace. Art Credit: Dianne Hammer Please subscribe to this blog to continue following my healing journey. You can also follow me on social media at: Instagram: @amiddleagedsurvivorFacebook: @amiddledagedsurvivorSubstack: @amiddleagedsurvivor Wishing you love, peace and sparks of joy wherever you are on your healing journey. It is my wish with all that
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